From the Diary of Rudolpho Milano

Dear Diary,

I had the weirdest dream last night.

I remember it as clearly as if it had really happened. The bunch of us were running through some maze-building made of brick walls. We fought off swarms of phantoms that seemed to come from piles of bones oddly placed here and there throughout the labyrinth. For some reason we were frantically looking for a portal that would take us down to the next level. I also remember that Nesta seemed to be a woman on fire. She fired arrows faster than a person could count them.

This is where it gets really weird. I remember being struck by the phantoms and then getting really hungry. Then, as if on cue, we spied a plate of prepared food, completely out-of-place in a corner of the dungeon. Somehow we all thought that the food was all that we needed to heal our wounds. How goofy! Anyway, as Nesta tore through the gang of phantoms guarding the food, she accidentally fired one arrow too many and completely exploded the plate of food with that single shot. Although we were all enraged with Nesta, Vin summed it up when he announced in his ultra-blasé voice, “Elf shot the food.”

It was then that I woke up. Yep, diary, I gotta quit drinking so much just before bedtime.

Anyway, I'm now on the trail of a spellcaster that may be able to make that improvement to my falchion. We returned from the battle with Zotzilaha and won the support of the Olman tribesmen at Tanaroa. From there, we returned to Farshore where Daria had a few words with Slipknot Pete.

After a pleasant chat, Pete divulged that the orb for which we were searching in Rat's End was actually secured to the underside of the Hellfish. HA! That's actually kinda funny but I don't think Daria shares my sense of humor. We recovered the orb (big freaking whoop) and we stored Kongu in the Vanderboren estate until we can figure out hoe to fix him.

We didn't get to rest for long in Farshore before we started on another mission. Captain Spanky was whining that his crew cannot repair the Sea Wyvern without more tar and wouldn't you know it - the locals claim that the only local source of tar is currently under siege from a big, angry dinosaur. To everyone's surprise, I petitioned to take on the mission. As chance would have it, the only local witch doctor that I could track down has been reportedly spending much of his time near the tar pits...

Also while in Farshore, we picked up some kinda miracle girl. Thankfully, I missed the whole boring story but apparently she is the sole survivor of a shipwreck. She stands about as tall as me and she waltzes around in full plate armor with a shiny winged helmet. Apparently, she has now joined up with our crew - not that anyone asked my opinion on the matter. It turned out for the best though, because as we soon found out, this girl is very able to take care of herself.

Anyway, we loaded up and sailed the Viscious Spanking up to the tar pits and encountered a bunch of little monkey / racoon primitive losers (Nesta called them Phanatons) running from dinosaur that we were there to kill. I managed to trip one of the little cowards as he ran past me. Heh heh heh...

Well, we killed the big lizard but not before he nearly bit our new girl in two and then swallowed her whole. Yep, Diary, I figured her for a gonner. The last glimpse I caught of her as she disappeared into the dinosaur's mouth, she was covered in blood and seemed to mouth some unheard prayer. After the battle, when we cut the beast's belly open, out crawled our miracle girl, looking almost unharmed! Someone must be looking over her.

Alright Diary, I must admit that I’ve been saving the best part for last – this new girl goes by the name of Hjalmgerdr Icemark. No kidding – Icemark! Har! har! har! Hey Vin, your mama’s hot! Har! har! har!

Anyway, the little furry losers all wandered off after the battle. Not that they were much help anyway. Of course, there was no sign of this hermit mystic that I had come to find. I asked Nesta to try to track down any humans that have been in the area lately. I just hope that he didn't take up with the furry losers.

-R