Dear Diary,
I hate monkeys.
Monkeys are like hairy, short, smelly, filthy, disgusting gnomes and it’s starting to look as if we’re shipwrecked on freaking Monkey Island. All of our current troubles started when we decided to take a detour from the old mountain road.
We found of a trail that led into the jungle and Nesta thought that it would be a simple matter to venture into the jungle to replenish our water supplies. The jungle was complete crap. The trees were all screwed up and there were snakes everywhere. Even the jungle sounds were screwed up. The jungle sounded like monkeys. It was foggy, soggy, and crappy and then Nesta got us lost.
Well, I should back up a bit. Before we got lost we found a clearing with some boring rubble of boring old structures– or maybe we were in the other clearing without the rubble. Anyway we’re in this clearing and there this guy hanging upside down babbling some gobble-dee-gook. There was a hole in his chest where his heart had been cut out but that didn’t stop him from his constant jibber-jabber about the master of something or some crap killing us and keeping us in the jungle forever. He seemed real happy to be hanging there upside down with his heart cut out.
Somebody (I don’t remember who) had the idea to question mister – upside-down – dead – loser – guy. Vin, of course, had ideas of his own. He got out his holy symbol and shouted some crap and our new friend blew up. Yep, Diary, he just blew up like a barrel of alchemist’s fire. Bits of skin and bones and brains and teeth and flaming unidentifiable grue hit us all in the face and what was left of the poor guy’s skull rolled down the path a few feet.
I had to ask, “So, Vin, did you learn anything useful from him?”
We spent a couple of minutes scraping rotten flesh from ourselves and then followed the trail to another clearing. This clearing had even less crap to hold my interest so we continued on with the mission but we couldn’t find our way to a pond or any other source of fresh water.
As a matter of fact, that’s when Nesta got us lost. I mean - we were all equally lost but it IS Nesta’s job to avoid that particular fate. We wandered around until dark. We tried everything to get out of that jungle but Nesta had screwed us all pretty well. Eventually, the second team caught up with us and then all hope of rescue was gone to shit.
About the time that the whole squad was having a big, hugging, sappy reunion, we were finally attacked. I use the word “finally” because I was so bored that anything was a welcome relief.
We were attacked by six-foot-tall filthy monkey demon thingies. They had all sorts of tricks to use against us. First, they dropped out of the making their ridiculous screeches and howls and clawing at us with their filthy paws. One of them summoned up some of that magic darkness that screws with even my darkvision. I hate that crap. While everyone else was stumbling around blind, I managed to attack one of the monkeys. I thought that I had really dealt the smelly loser a death blow but it turned out that I didn’t cut him that deeply.
Anyway, while that was going on I noticed Daria sneaking up behind captain ball-buster and letting her have it with her dagger. The captain didn’t last long. One good stab and it was over. I couldn’t believe my eyes! Daria was a cold-blooded murderer.
As the battle raged on, I was pissed off to find that the monkey-demons were capable of teleporting, turning invisible, and taking the shape of others. That made fighting them a pain in the ass. The monkey losers kept teleporting our teammates away and taking on their likenesses.
After the battle, I was still bothered by Captain Ball-Buster’s death. I was the only one that saw Daria do it and I didn’t mention it to anyone else. While the rest of the team was lamenting the captain’s loss and wondering how it happened, I figured it out: one of the monkeys had taken Daria and replaced her! I knew Daria could not have turned evil. I almost got excited about this revelation and then I remembered that I don’t really care one way or another so I just had a sip of stanky beer and went about my business.
Anyway, we killed a couple of losers; a couple of losers got away; our second team got kidnapped; and Daria may actually be an evil demon-monkey but I guess I’m coping.
-R
Monday, November 26, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Welcome to the Jungle
The heroes continue traveling cliffs along the eastern shore of the Isle of Dread. The party finds a small mountain pass on the trail. Off in the distance a steamy jungle surrounds a lake off in the distance. The mountain pass is a ten mile journey through twisting, winding canyons of rock. The pass opens into a large, dark, fog-shrouded jungle. The ground is swampy, wet and as the group moves into the jungle the flora and fauna grow strange and twisted.
A small trail lead to an old ruin. There in the ruins, an old corpse strung upside-down on a crossed pair of logs in an "X" pattern. As the party approaches and examines the body, the zombie speaks. "Welcome to my home, travelers. You come a long way to stay here forever. At least you live. That is good for now. My home is your home now and forever." Vin summons divine energy to turn the vile creature and obliterated it into smoking ash.
Attempts to explore the jungle further are in vain, as all attempts return the party into the ruins. Trapped, the party tries other options to find its way out. Demonic apes assault the adventurers and with darkness and teleportation cause quite a bit of trouble. A few people are scattered and missing. A bit of divination reveals the location of a hidden shrine near the ruins and the party makes a direct line there.
There are two entrances to the shrine, each a hideous pair of gigantic fanged baboon heads carved into a small hill. Their gaping maws reveal two caves that lead into darkness. Taking the right passage, the party discovers a bloody handprint. When the cavern dead ends, they find a message in Olman. "No way out. The jungle is pain and suffering. Maybe it will end soon and the spirit of the Hawk will take me aloft from this accursed place. I beg him to take me away before I am gragged to the altar of the two-faced one. There is no way out."
Eventually the party discovers a pair of tarnished bronze doors, which are opened by blooding someones right and left hand then pulling on the doors. Inside is bizzare shrine. While the party examines the shrine, Rudy wanders off and discovers another trap, resulting in an avalance of stone on his thick skull. Z and Kongu manage to dig him out after a while. After several attempt at experimenting with the ritual of the duality, the party opens a mysterious portal.
==========
Session Characters: Nesta, Rudolpho, Vin, Kongu, Ortho, Gwendelyn, Daria
Session Loot: [none]
A small trail lead to an old ruin. There in the ruins, an old corpse strung upside-down on a crossed pair of logs in an "X" pattern. As the party approaches and examines the body, the zombie speaks. "Welcome to my home, travelers. You come a long way to stay here forever. At least you live. That is good for now. My home is your home now and forever." Vin summons divine energy to turn the vile creature and obliterated it into smoking ash.
Attempts to explore the jungle further are in vain, as all attempts return the party into the ruins. Trapped, the party tries other options to find its way out. Demonic apes assault the adventurers and with darkness and teleportation cause quite a bit of trouble. A few people are scattered and missing. A bit of divination reveals the location of a hidden shrine near the ruins and the party makes a direct line there.
There are two entrances to the shrine, each a hideous pair of gigantic fanged baboon heads carved into a small hill. Their gaping maws reveal two caves that lead into darkness. Taking the right passage, the party discovers a bloody handprint. When the cavern dead ends, they find a message in Olman. "No way out. The jungle is pain and suffering. Maybe it will end soon and the spirit of the Hawk will take me aloft from this accursed place. I beg him to take me away before I am gragged to the altar of the two-faced one. There is no way out."
Eventually the party discovers a pair of tarnished bronze doors, which are opened by blooding someones right and left hand then pulling on the doors. Inside is bizzare shrine. While the party examines the shrine, Rudy wanders off and discovers another trap, resulting in an avalance of stone on his thick skull. Z and Kongu manage to dig him out after a while. After several attempt at experimenting with the ritual of the duality, the party opens a mysterious portal.
==========
Session Characters: Nesta, Rudolpho, Vin, Kongu, Ortho, Gwendelyn, Daria
Session Loot: [none]
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
From the Diary of Rudolpho Milano
Dear Diary,
Sometimes it’s just your day.
After we left the labyrinth of losers, we began following an old road that ran long the seaside cliff. The first night that we stopped, I heard some noises out in the woodline during my watch shift. I ran to investigate and see just who needed a killing but I didn’t see anyone. The next morning, I told Nesta what had happened. Although she searched the area for any evidence of intruders, she found nothing. But, she’s probably still obsessing over her new drow tattoo. Heh heh heh…
Anyway the next night we heard the same crap again and when we awoke, our camp was surrounded by bird corpses mounted on weird stick forms, hanging from trees. Again, Nesta was completely perplexed.
As we made our way along the road that evening, humanoid skulls struck a few members of the party, myself included. Ortho summoned up two dogs to sniff out the outsiders but they couldn’t seem to locate our tormenters. Finally, someone, Daria I think, looked up to see an area of blackness above us. Ortho launched a lightning bolt into the area and the darkness left.
Next day, we came to sort of basket, pulley, rope system that was used to carry stuff up to the next level of the trail. It was just a smidge too tough for yours truly to work reliably by myself but I found that I could do it easily when Gwendolyn was singing.
The song only lasted long enough for me to transport two folks. Kongu and Vin went first. I made the case that if there was something nasty up top, those two would be most able to handle themselves until the rest of the party got there. Really, I just thought it would be nice to get away from Vin for a couple of minutes.
Gwendolyn rested for a moment and then launched into another song. This song kinda sucked but I guess they can’t all be winners. Besides, Gwendolyn’s worst song is better than Vin’s best sermon. Ortho went third and Nesta went fourth.
Gwendolyn and Daria went fifth and sixth. Those two were so light that I didn’t need a song. Finally, I enjoyed a too-brief moment of peace and quiet before I stepped into the gondola and Kongu brought me up. I must confess. I half considered cutting the rope and taking off in the other direction. At the top of the next cliff, we found an abandoned village – but nothing or nobody was there.
That night, on guard duty I hung my magic beer mug upside down in the tree nearest Ortho and carved the command word into the trunk. When the party got up and moving the next morning, I pointed to the tree trunk graffiti and said, “Oh no! What’s that?” Ortho regarded the writing for a moment and then read it aloud.
Sploosh! Ortho got a pint of smelly beer dumped on top of his head! I rolled around on the ground laughing. Ortho just muttered something about simple minds - simple pleasures.
Early in the afternoon, we got ambushed by a group of winged goons. They began by swooping down from a higher cliff and trying to knock us off of the cliff into the ocean below. Although these goons were humanoid in shape, they had wings and a tough, stony hide. The goons bit, clawed, and gored like wild beasts but we gradually got the upper hand in the battle.
During the battle, I noticed three things. One, some of our weapons were not very effective at piercing the hides of those goons. Two, Kongu and Vin sometimes use a fighting style that utilizes reckless strikes for either devastating hits or spectacular misses. Three, it seems that Kongu prefers spectacular misses.
As you may remember, I always carry a dagger in my boot just in case. It’s not much - but it’s better than nothing. When we had fought the gang of goons down to their last goon, I was on the other side of the battlefield. I knew that the goon would be dead before I could run to his position and I really wanted to get a piece of him. In desperation, I drew my dagger and threw it sixty feet through the mass melee of fighting bodies. The dagger hit the goon in the head and he dropped.
I was as freaking surprised as anyone there but I didn’t let it show. I swaggered up the goon’s inert corpse and retrieved my dagger, rhetorically asking if I must do everything around here. Oddly, I didn’t see where my dagger did any damage that would have killed a goon that tough. I guess I must have scared him to death.
Ortho found strange markings on the goons and although he was unable to decipher any meaning, he pronounced them to be gargoyles.
From getting Ortho with my beer trap to finishing off that goon with a one in a million shot, like I said - sometimes it’s just your day. Now, if could only get that crappy song of Gwendolyn’s out of my head.
-R
Sometimes it’s just your day.
After we left the labyrinth of losers, we began following an old road that ran long the seaside cliff. The first night that we stopped, I heard some noises out in the woodline during my watch shift. I ran to investigate and see just who needed a killing but I didn’t see anyone. The next morning, I told Nesta what had happened. Although she searched the area for any evidence of intruders, she found nothing. But, she’s probably still obsessing over her new drow tattoo. Heh heh heh…
Anyway the next night we heard the same crap again and when we awoke, our camp was surrounded by bird corpses mounted on weird stick forms, hanging from trees. Again, Nesta was completely perplexed.
As we made our way along the road that evening, humanoid skulls struck a few members of the party, myself included. Ortho summoned up two dogs to sniff out the outsiders but they couldn’t seem to locate our tormenters. Finally, someone, Daria I think, looked up to see an area of blackness above us. Ortho launched a lightning bolt into the area and the darkness left.
Next day, we came to sort of basket, pulley, rope system that was used to carry stuff up to the next level of the trail. It was just a smidge too tough for yours truly to work reliably by myself but I found that I could do it easily when Gwendolyn was singing.
The song only lasted long enough for me to transport two folks. Kongu and Vin went first. I made the case that if there was something nasty up top, those two would be most able to handle themselves until the rest of the party got there. Really, I just thought it would be nice to get away from Vin for a couple of minutes.
Gwendolyn rested for a moment and then launched into another song. This song kinda sucked but I guess they can’t all be winners. Besides, Gwendolyn’s worst song is better than Vin’s best sermon. Ortho went third and Nesta went fourth.
Gwendolyn and Daria went fifth and sixth. Those two were so light that I didn’t need a song. Finally, I enjoyed a too-brief moment of peace and quiet before I stepped into the gondola and Kongu brought me up. I must confess. I half considered cutting the rope and taking off in the other direction. At the top of the next cliff, we found an abandoned village – but nothing or nobody was there.
That night, on guard duty I hung my magic beer mug upside down in the tree nearest Ortho and carved the command word into the trunk. When the party got up and moving the next morning, I pointed to the tree trunk graffiti and said, “Oh no! What’s that?” Ortho regarded the writing for a moment and then read it aloud.
Sploosh! Ortho got a pint of smelly beer dumped on top of his head! I rolled around on the ground laughing. Ortho just muttered something about simple minds - simple pleasures.
Early in the afternoon, we got ambushed by a group of winged goons. They began by swooping down from a higher cliff and trying to knock us off of the cliff into the ocean below. Although these goons were humanoid in shape, they had wings and a tough, stony hide. The goons bit, clawed, and gored like wild beasts but we gradually got the upper hand in the battle.
During the battle, I noticed three things. One, some of our weapons were not very effective at piercing the hides of those goons. Two, Kongu and Vin sometimes use a fighting style that utilizes reckless strikes for either devastating hits or spectacular misses. Three, it seems that Kongu prefers spectacular misses.
As you may remember, I always carry a dagger in my boot just in case. It’s not much - but it’s better than nothing. When we had fought the gang of goons down to their last goon, I was on the other side of the battlefield. I knew that the goon would be dead before I could run to his position and I really wanted to get a piece of him. In desperation, I drew my dagger and threw it sixty feet through the mass melee of fighting bodies. The dagger hit the goon in the head and he dropped.
I was as freaking surprised as anyone there but I didn’t let it show. I swaggered up the goon’s inert corpse and retrieved my dagger, rhetorically asking if I must do everything around here. Oddly, I didn’t see where my dagger did any damage that would have killed a goon that tough. I guess I must have scared him to death.
Ortho found strange markings on the goons and although he was unable to decipher any meaning, he pronounced them to be gargoyles.
From getting Ortho with my beer trap to finishing off that goon with a one in a million shot, like I said - sometimes it’s just your day. Now, if could only get that crappy song of Gwendolyn’s out of my head.
-R
Monday, November 12, 2007
From the Diary of Rudolpho Milano
Dear Diary,
Sometimes it’s just not your day.
As we continued up the road, Nesta and Ortho mentioned that it looked like lightening storms were headed our way. I thought that they had both lost their minds but hey, Nesta IS a ranger and Ortho IS the elemental expert so maybe they knew something that I didn’t.
Once again, we were assaulted by gargoyles. This time however, a big, mean gargoyle got the drop on me and I was knocked off the side of the cliff to wait out the battle treading water below.
It sounded like I missed out on some good fun. I heard the usual sounds of swords and shields but at one point I saw the bright flash of light on cliff trail and heard Daria yell, “Whoo-Hooo!” Daria was later pushed off of the cliff herself.
After I had completely missed the battle, some crazy bird-horse thing came flying down from the cliff coming right at me. As I prepared to kill it, I heard Ortho yelling at me to grab its legs. That thing managed to carry me back to the mountain trail – then Daria.
Once again, the losers had no loot - but I did hear that, back with the second team, Z found a kobold.
As if things weren’t freaking bad enough, that evening I had to lay out all of my wet gear and clothing to dry. Vin loaned me a cloak to keep me warm as I slept up in a tree. Wouldn’t you know it – my tree got struck by lightening as I slept. That was a rude awakening and it hurt like hell! I guess Nesta and Ortho were right about those lightening storms.
Like I said – sometimes it’s just not your day.
-R
Sometimes it’s just not your day.
As we continued up the road, Nesta and Ortho mentioned that it looked like lightening storms were headed our way. I thought that they had both lost their minds but hey, Nesta IS a ranger and Ortho IS the elemental expert so maybe they knew something that I didn’t.
Once again, we were assaulted by gargoyles. This time however, a big, mean gargoyle got the drop on me and I was knocked off the side of the cliff to wait out the battle treading water below.
It sounded like I missed out on some good fun. I heard the usual sounds of swords and shields but at one point I saw the bright flash of light on cliff trail and heard Daria yell, “Whoo-Hooo!” Daria was later pushed off of the cliff herself.
After I had completely missed the battle, some crazy bird-horse thing came flying down from the cliff coming right at me. As I prepared to kill it, I heard Ortho yelling at me to grab its legs. That thing managed to carry me back to the mountain trail – then Daria.
Once again, the losers had no loot - but I did hear that, back with the second team, Z found a kobold.
As if things weren’t freaking bad enough, that evening I had to lay out all of my wet gear and clothing to dry. Vin loaned me a cloak to keep me warm as I slept up in a tree. Wouldn’t you know it – my tree got struck by lightening as I slept. That was a rude awakening and it hurt like hell! I guess Nesta and Ortho were right about those lightening storms.
Like I said – sometimes it’s just not your day.
-R
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Falling for you [updated]
Pursuing the Drow deeper into the mountain, the party heads out of the dragon's room and into another trapped hallway. Kongu springs the trap and the next room reveals the Drow are a truly treacherous lot. Face down on the ground, a Drow, apparently killed by one of his own. The room is searched. On the body, Nesta finds a strange note. The rumbling in the distance turns out to be the collapsing ceiling. The Drow have ended the party's pursuit.
Returning to the beach in the mountain pass, the party follows and ancient road through the mountains along the coastline. Strange events plague the party during the evenings on the road. Shadows in the evening, birds staked out on wooden crosses, and human skulls being flung from darkness above, all events that harass the party.
On the road the party encounters two groups of gargoyles with odd markings. The first the party defeats with relative ease. The second is championed by a viscous brute that gives Rudopho a run for his money. The brute and his crew manage to bump a couple of party members over the edge of the cliff into the water below. The Vin and Kongu fight to the end, as Vin crumples a bit.
The party has two more days on this trecherous trail.
==========
Session Characters: Rudolpho, Ortho, Gwendelyn, Daria, Vin, Nesta, Kongu
Session Loot: bracers of armor +2, gargoyle crown, 10 gold rings (50 gp each), drow short sword +1, drow elven chainmail +1
Gargoyle Crown: 1/day [free action to activate] DR/5 adamantine for 10 minutes, and 1/day smite attack [+4 attack and damage] vs creatures touching earth or stone [must declare prior to action]. 14000gp, 4lbs.
Returning to the beach in the mountain pass, the party follows and ancient road through the mountains along the coastline. Strange events plague the party during the evenings on the road. Shadows in the evening, birds staked out on wooden crosses, and human skulls being flung from darkness above, all events that harass the party.
On the road the party encounters two groups of gargoyles with odd markings. The first the party defeats with relative ease. The second is championed by a viscous brute that gives Rudopho a run for his money. The brute and his crew manage to bump a couple of party members over the edge of the cliff into the water below. The Vin and Kongu fight to the end, as Vin crumples a bit.
The party has two more days on this trecherous trail.
==========
Session Characters: Rudolpho, Ortho, Gwendelyn, Daria, Vin, Nesta, Kongu
Session Loot: bracers of armor +2, gargoyle crown, 10 gold rings (50 gp each), drow short sword +1, drow elven chainmail +1
Gargoyle Crown: 1/day [free action to activate] DR/5 adamantine for 10 minutes, and 1/day smite attack [+4 attack and damage] vs creatures touching earth or stone [must declare prior to action]. 14000gp, 4lbs.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
XP Standings
Level 7: Nesta, Rudolpho, Vin, Daria, Kongu, Z
Level 6: Newt, Chiri, Ortho, Spanky, Druugen, Gwendely
Level 5: Medea
Ortho is within extra-credit range of advancing. Spanky and Druugen have advanced to level 6.
Level 6: Newt, Chiri, Ortho, Spanky, Druugen, Gwendely
Level 5: Medea
Ortho is within extra-credit range of advancing. Spanky and Druugen have advanced to level 6.
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