Dear Diary,
I hate losers. We just happened to find a whole town full of them on the island of Axuxal. I forget the real name of the place but that’s OK, I call it Loserville. We stopped at Loserville to replenish supplies and do some shopping only to find out that the broke losers had nothing worthwhile to sell and no money to buy any of our excess loot.
Daria, Avner, and a few other members of the crew decided to stay in town to hang out and relax but I decided I didn’t want anything to do with the losers there so I stayed on board the ship to have a couple mugs of my magic butt beer and update my diary. I ‘m glad that Avner and Daria have finally learned to get along. I really want that guy to amount to something when we get him back to his family in Sasserine. We can always use all the allies we can get.
Damn! I hear some clamor coming from town now. Gotta go see what it’s about.
-R
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Dear Diary,
Rest in peace, Avner.
Wouldn’t you know it, late in the afternoon I ran up on the prow to see what’s going on in Loserville, and I see a huge band of losers, led by the loser chief himself, accosting poor Daria and Avner. Without even aiming, I quickly fired a warning ballista shot into the mob and jumped off the ship.
By the time I swam to shore and ran up the beach to the town center, some loser had killed poor Avner and set his body on fire. That made me REALLY MAD. What’s more, when I began to get close, a woman summoned up one of those damn pickled gremlins. I recognized her as Rowyn of the Lotus Dragons. I thought we were working for her and here she is attacking Daria!
I moved in to help Daria with the gremlin and she stepped back to catch her breath. I split that pickled snotball in two about the same time that Kongu got to the scene. With Nesta picking off losers right and left, they decided to retreat with their dead chief.
Rowyn cast a spell and turned invisible! Everyone called to the ship for Nesta, the newly minted manhunter, to come track her.
I was still plenty pissed and in my berserker rage so I charged the town hall and burst apart the door. From outside I heard Kongu yell “A funeral fit for a king!” Of course at that time, I had no idea what he was talking about. There were three more losers inside the town hall so I killed them before I sat down to catch my breath. Getting that pissed off always gets me a little winded.
As I stepped outside to sit down and rest, I noticed for the first time that several buildings, including the tavern, were on fire. Avner’s body was inside the tavern burning amidst all the alcohol. I heard screams of terror and pain coming from some of the houses. That cheered me up a little bit I guess.
I didn’t see Daria or Nesta anywhere but Kongu was making his way to the town hall. He didn’t waste any time; he walked in grabbed two crates, threw them up on his shoulders, and began walking back to the Cresting Wave. That kid learns fast. I was still taking my well-deserved break when I heard the war drums and the shouting of what must have been hundreds of losers.
Now, most folks would have taken that as an invitation to leave while they were ahead - but not this pirate. Nope, I was still in a piss-ass mood and I figured that I needed to kill a lot more losers before my mood would improve any. No one kills my buddy Avner and gets away with it.
No one else was around to help me but I figured that I could probably fight as I retreated back to the ships and come out OK. As the war party finally closed the distance to hand to hand combat, I came up with a plan: I would keep my cool and fight in a doorway so that I would only have to fight two or three losers at a time. When the time came to retreat, I would exit through the back wall.
When I began to battle the losers, I noticed that they had the toughest losers up front. I started combat with them and got a couple of nicks from their spears. I even got hit with a couple of thrown rocks. That really pissed me off but I still kept my cool.
Then, out of nowhere, Rowyn appeared and tried to backstab me like those punk kids in the back alleys of Sasserine do. She didn’t know who she was dealing with! I pivoted out of the way in time but still got nicked me with her blade. The wound really burned - I figure she put some poison on her dagger. THAT made me finally lose my cool.
Then, the strangest thing happened. I had a moment where everything was suddenly clear to me. You know, when all the ropes and pulleys in your brain finally catch. Rowyn was the one that unleashed the first pickled gremlin on the Sea Wyvern. Rowyn was the one that cut the rope connecting our two ships. Rowyn was the one that killed Kongu’s fish. Rowyn was the one that poisoned my food! Now I had a new plan: kill Rowyn at all costs.
I flew into a berserker rage and swung at Rowyn but she avoided most of the blow and I only wounded her. As I parried her clumsy attack and got ready to cleave her in two, it started raining flecks of gold! I couldn’t see shit! I took my best swing at where Rowyn was last standing and was rewarded with a warm spray of blood that I could feel on my face. I pried my falchion from her corpse and stepped back into the doorway to defend myself until I could see again.
I could hear the voices of Kongu & Z then so I figured that everything would be OK. Before too long, I heard the voices of Daria and Vin also. Finally, everyone was joining in on the fun! I fought even while I was blinded but I did a lot better when my vision cleared. I also saw Nesta picking off losers from the deck of the Cresting Wave.
Kongu, for some reason, was offering them mercy. Mercy? After what they did to Avner? I don’t think so! That Knogu is a killing machine. For a little while I actually worried that he might get to kill more losers than I did. I really need to work on my fighting technique. A few of the losers retreated but the rest of them fought to the death. Suckers.
Like I said, my first plan was to kill every last one of the losers but killing Rowyn had really improved my mood so it didn’t seem so important after all. Besides I didn’t want to spend all that time tracking the losers down. I grabbed some loot out of the town hall and began walking back to the dinghies. Someone set the town hall on fire, and just for kicks, before we left, I changed their little sign to read ‘Loserville’.
I didn’t get any info on Maria or my pa from these losers! Maybe on the way back through, we can stop for a couple of days so I can kill everyone. Or, maybe, Avner’s family will pay me to do it when they hear what these primitives did to him.
I gotta hand it to Lavina. When she’s right, she’s right. That was a very relaxing shore leave. I feel much better.
Bye, Avner. I miss you, buddy.
-R