From the Diary of Rudolpho Milano

Dear Diary,

Sometimes it’s just your day.

After we left the labyrinth of losers, we began following an old road that ran long the seaside cliff. The first night that we stopped, I heard some noises out in the woodline during my watch shift. I ran to investigate and see just who needed a killing but I didn’t see anyone. The next morning, I told Nesta what had happened. Although she searched the area for any evidence of intruders, she found nothing. But, she’s probably still obsessing over her new drow tattoo. Heh heh heh…

Anyway the next night we heard the same crap again and when we awoke, our camp was surrounded by bird corpses mounted on weird stick forms, hanging from trees. Again, Nesta was completely perplexed.

As we made our way along the road that evening, humanoid skulls struck a few members of the party, myself included. Ortho summoned up two dogs to sniff out the outsiders but they couldn’t seem to locate our tormenters. Finally, someone, Daria I think, looked up to see an area of blackness above us. Ortho launched a lightning bolt into the area and the darkness left.

Next day, we came to sort of basket, pulley, rope system that was used to carry stuff up to the next level of the trail. It was just a smidge too tough for yours truly to work reliably by myself but I found that I could do it easily when Gwendolyn was singing.

The song only lasted long enough for me to transport two folks. Kongu and Vin went first. I made the case that if there was something nasty up top, those two would be most able to handle themselves until the rest of the party got there. Really, I just thought it would be nice to get away from Vin for a couple of minutes.

Gwendolyn rested for a moment and then launched into another song. This song kinda sucked but I guess they can’t all be winners. Besides, Gwendolyn’s worst song is better than Vin’s best sermon. Ortho went third and Nesta went fourth.

Gwendolyn and Daria went fifth and sixth. Those two were so light that I didn’t need a song. Finally, I enjoyed a too-brief moment of peace and quiet before I stepped into the gondola and Kongu brought me up. I must confess. I half considered cutting the rope and taking off in the other direction. At the top of the next cliff, we found an abandoned village – but nothing or nobody was there.

That night, on guard duty I hung my magic beer mug upside down in the tree nearest Ortho and carved the command word into the trunk. When the party got up and moving the next morning, I pointed to the tree trunk graffiti and said, “Oh no! What’s that?” Ortho regarded the writing for a moment and then read it aloud.

Sploosh! Ortho got a pint of smelly beer dumped on top of his head! I rolled around on the ground laughing. Ortho just muttered something about simple minds - simple pleasures.

Early in the afternoon, we got ambushed by a group of winged goons. They began by swooping down from a higher cliff and trying to knock us off of the cliff into the ocean below. Although these goons were humanoid in shape, they had wings and a tough, stony hide. The goons bit, clawed, and gored like wild beasts but we gradually got the upper hand in the battle.

During the battle, I noticed three things. One, some of our weapons were not very effective at piercing the hides of those goons. Two, Kongu and Vin sometimes use a fighting style that utilizes reckless strikes for either devastating hits or spectacular misses. Three, it seems that Kongu prefers spectacular misses.

As you may remember, I always carry a dagger in my boot just in case. It’s not much - but it’s better than nothing. When we had fought the gang of goons down to their last goon, I was on the other side of the battlefield. I knew that the goon would be dead before I could run to his position and I really wanted to get a piece of him. In desperation, I drew my dagger and threw it sixty feet through the mass melee of fighting bodies. The dagger hit the goon in the head and he dropped.

I was as freaking surprised as anyone there but I didn’t let it show. I swaggered up the goon’s inert corpse and retrieved my dagger, rhetorically asking if I must do everything around here. Oddly, I didn’t see where my dagger did any damage that would have killed a goon that tough. I guess I must have scared him to death.

Ortho found strange markings on the goons and although he was unable to decipher any meaning, he pronounced them to be gargoyles.

From getting Ortho with my beer trap to finishing off that goon with a one in a million shot, like I said - sometimes it’s just your day. Now, if could only get that crappy song of Gwendolyn’s out of my head.

-R