From the Diary of Rudolpho Milano

Dear Diary,

I am forced to add to the list of people that I must kill.

By the time we had rested up from our last battle, I had had about enough. I made up my mind I was not going to rest or retreat until the all of the drow in the caverns were dead.

While the big brains prepared spells and prayed and all that crap, Daria went on a recon mission. It was a good idea but, unfortunately, she didn’t find the drow. She did find a trap though. Daria came back to camp to report the trap and told everyone that she needed time to recover the poisoned needles.

On hearing this I worked myself up into a rage and ran into the hall. Thip thip thip. Three arrows fired at me. I parried one, one glanced off of my shirt and one hit me. I could feel the poison trying to wear me down but I was too pissed off.

I ran another five feet. Thip thip thip. Another damn trap. One arrow completely missed, I parried one, and one hit. It also was poisoned but I shrugged it off. My magic ass beer is more potent than that loser poison!

I turned the corner and ran down the second short hall to another corner and Thip thip thip. I got hit twice more and parried a third. Of course, I stayed on my feet. Five feet past the corner a pit trap opened under my feet but I avoided it. I ran to the end of this hall, still ready to kill drow when I turned the corner to see a double door.

Dammit! I wanted to kill! I burst through the doors and my prayers were answered. Losers! The two of them weren’t drow but I didn’t mind to kill them anyway.

They must have been ready for me because they got the drop on me. Oh well. We started fighting and I offered to spare one of them for Daria to interrogate but neither of them took me up on my offer – or they didn’t understand common. Hey, I tried right? Vin would have been proud.

Speaking of Vin, he was the next on the scene. And soon after, the room was packed with everyone trying to get a piece of my losers. Actually, these guys weren’t total losers; they hit pretty hard with their greataxes and could take a beating like Kongu.

Anyway, before too long we (mostly me) killed them and they turned into some 9-foot tall bull-headed losers! That explained a lot. It turns out that Nesta was being held in that room but I didn’t notice because I was concentrating on killing.

Nesta found that she had a new tattoo on her back and when Ortho checked, he found that he too had a tattoo. Boy, oh, boy! The looks on their faces was almost worth having to rescue them.

While everyone else looted the room and Daria inspected the far door, I back-tracked to inspect the pit that I almost fell into. While I was busy finding a crap-lot of nothing, I heard Kongo yelp a few times and I heard a rumble. Ortho later told me that Kongo fell into the same spiked pit trap three times. Har har har! Oh well, he’ll learn some day. Anyway while I was in the first pit, Daria opened the next door. I was alerted to this when I heard the party yelling and heard something BIG roar – followed by screaming. As I climbed out of the pit and ran to the battle, I could hear Daria repeatedly call out “It’s not real! It’s an illusion!” I certainly sounded real enough. Anyway, long story short, I got to battle my first dragon, and deliver the killing blow – but that goes without saying.

The next room contained only a single drow with a sword in his back. Man, that pissed my off. Whoever that guy was, I was supposed to kill him! To make matters worse, he had a note that said something about the tattoo bearers’ dimensional adventures. How freaking boring!

As we opened the far door in this room, we found out what the rumbling sound had been. The cowardly loser-elves had collapsed the cavern to cover their cowardly loser retreat. Hence, I added them to my list for future killing and we finally left the caverns. I just hope those drow know that it was I, Rudolpho Milano, that defeated them. Just to be sure that they know, I wrote my name on the wall of the last room. Maybe they’ll come looking for me one day.

Oh, yeah - Nesta says that Vin’s fulla crap. Vin claims to be a paladin of Farllangn crap! Ffarlanngh dammit! Fharlanghn but Nesta claims that Fharlanghn is a patron deity of travelers that cares nothing for holy crusades. Paladins are chosen by the godly powers of purity and justice. She mentioned Heironeous by name but added that with Vin being half-sea elf as he is, there is really no telling what god tapped him to be a paladin. Whatever Vin is, he’s not what he thinks he is. Heh heh heh!

Nesta says she knows all about Fharlanghn because she’s a ranger. She says that all travelers, including our little band, would do well to pay homage to Fharlanghn, and that he could help us get home and blah blah blah… She said some more crap but I had quit listening by then.

Out of all that mess with the drow, we got some neat loot but everyone seems afraid to wear the drow chain armor. I guess I’ll take it if Vin or Nesta doesn’t want it.

-R