From the Diary of Rudolpho Milano

Dear Diary,

I’m turning to sand. It’s a long story.

After we fought the eight-legged freak; Vin, Nesta, and Kongu left the exploratory party to carry it back to the Sea Wyvern. The rest of us, with the addition of Cheri (who seemed to appear out of nowhere), entered the ruins of Tomoachan.

The first room we came to was painted up in scenes of some long-abandoned primitive loser city like nothing I’ve ever seen. This stuff was totally outside my experience. Some weird alien feeling of wonder came over me as I realized that the losers that built this ruin lived and died ages ago. Then the feeling passed and was getting pissed just being there and having to listen to Urol.

Things soon got interesting. After we walked down a few steps and began to examine the room a blazing wall of fire appeared out of nowhere and spooked the party. They started running around like a bunch of kenku with their heads cut off.

While most everyone else hid in a little alcove along the south wall, I just kept searching the room for any treasure. I’ve walked through fire before and it didn’t hurt - I figured I could handle being singed a little. This fire was different though. It hurt like hell!

The wall moved from the East side of the room to the west and disappeared. We figured that was that, but noooo! Another fire wall appeared in the same place and it all happened over again - only this time I hid in the alcove with everyone else.

Anyway, this crap went on about a hundred more times and in the end we discovered a fat lot of nothing. After we got through that mess, we came into a room that was a miniature model of a city. I was like “Look at me! I’m a titan and I’m stomping this stupid primitive city and all the losers in it flat! Mu-hu-ha-ha-ha!” Then Ural started his whining and bitching and Vin wouldn’t let me play titan so I had to entertain my self by looking for more treasure.

Sure enough, there was some treasure. The central pyramid in the miniature city was actually some kinda coffin for some long-dead loser. I was first on the scene and when I pried up the lid, I got a face full of some rotten, stank nasty dust that made me cough and wheeze.

But that’s not even the best part! The freaken’ punchline came about a minute later when I started coughing up sand! No kidding - sand! I shit you not! And I started to feel real freakin’ bad. As if that weren’t bad enough, the treasure got divvied up while I was busy coughing sand!

Then, we had to cut through an iron wall to continue on. I think I seriously dulled the blade on my falchion but I’ll get into that later.

The next room we came to was occupied by some bat-loser that spit fire at us, so we killed him. There was also some ball of light there that seemed to be on our side. I’ve heard pirate stories about such critters. The stories always made out like the lights were evil. Oh well. Thanks, little evil ball of light.

We got some silly little gold bat statue for treasure. One of the big brains in the party said that the statue was magic so we loaded it up to take with us. Urol claims that the room was some kind of ancient calendar. I gotta admit, about this time I was fed up with coughing sand and getting real tired of hearing that gnome’s voice.

The last room in this bizarre dungeon was inhabited by a big pile of eyes and mouths. If you can believe it, this thing talked even more than Urol! It jabbered so much in fact that I got kinda ‘confused’ about who I was, where I was, and what I was supposed to be doing!

The next thing I remember, I must have killed it because it was cut near in two. The rest of the party must have suffered something similar because I noticed that Urol had some halfling-sized arrows sticking out of his side. We got some more minor treasure and finally went back to the ships.

Today, I got even worse. I started to look like hell with sores where my flesh was turning to sand. I hope Z and Cheri are able to heal me.

One more little item: Nesta claims that she’s not an undead hunter anymore - she’s a manhunter. She’s always up on deck shooting at her special target dummy with the vital points marked.

-R